Given what’s going on in the world right now, it’s not surprising that so many people are feeling stressed. From the cost of living to the wars raging overseas, it’s enough to give you sleepless nights. It’s so easy to let what’s happening elsewhere consume you and take over your mind.
All of this can leave you feeling completely overwhelmed, unable to function properly. Then, one tiny thing tips you over the edge, and you find yourself crying into your teacup, not really sure why.
But stress is rarely just about what’s happening around you. More often, it’s about the destructive habits and thought patterns you’ve been carrying for years. When you combine that with world events, the rising cost of everything, and all the other numerous stresses that seem to surround us, it’s a recipe for disaster.
However, it’s not all doom and gloom, and there is something you can do about it. Identifying the triggers causing the stress and having what you need to break them can make all the difference.
10 Destructive Habits Keeping You Stressed
Most of us assume stress comes from what’s happening around us. The job, the family, the news, the endless to-do list. And yes, those things play a role. But doctors and psychologists have long pointed to something closer to home: the daily habits and thought patterns we carry without even questioning them.Â
According to the American Psychological Association, around 75% of Americans report physical or emotional symptoms linked to stress, and the research consistently shows that how we think and behave makes a significant difference to how much of it we carry.Â
Chronic stress has been linked to sleep problems, anxiety, depression, and higher blood pressure, and doctors say it can also make it harder to stick to the very habits that would help. These are the 12 that the experts flag most often.
Living by the “Should” Script
I had a conversation with my daughter about this very thing, and I do think it is something that is more in the younger generation. You have a picture in your head of how things would look by now. The career, the relationship, the body, the house. When life doesn’t match that image, the gap between expectation and reality becomes its own source of daily stress.
The script of how life “should” be is one of the heaviest things you can carry. And the tricky part is that most of us don’t even realize we’re carrying it.
I blame a lot of it on social media and the constant need to show people the perfect life. Well, life isn’t perfect, and living by this script is mentally exhausting and leaves you feeling like you’re running a race you never get to the end of.
Swap “should” language for “could” in your daily thinking. “I should have a better handle on my finances by now” becomes “I could work on my finances this month.” That one word shifts it from judgment to possibility, and it’s a technique therapists actively use in CBT.
Trying to Control What You Can’t
There’s a version of control that feels like safety, and it looks something like this: if I can just manage this situation, predict this outcome, influence this person, everything will be okay.
Except it won’t. Because most things in life aren’t yours to control.
The harder you grip, the more anxious you feel, because the grip is constantly being tested. Learning to identify what is within your power, and releasing the rest, is one of the most effective stress-reduction tools there is.
Use the “sphere of control” exercise: draw three circles. The inner one is what you directly control (your actions, your words). The middle is what you can influence. The outer is everything else. When anxiety spikes, physically place the stressor in the right circle. It stops your brain from treating everything as a threat that needs to be managed.
Keeping Your Mind Closed to New Ideas
A closed mind is a stressed mind. Whether we like it or not, change is how we grow as a society, and it won’t stop, no matter how much we resist it.
When you’re resistant to new ways of thinking or doing things, you cut yourself off from solutions, perspectives, and possibilities that could make your life easier. Stress thrives in rigid thinking. Flexibility, even just a small amount of it, opens up breathing room.
Be willing to consider that there might be a better way, a different angle, or something useful in an idea you initially dismissed.
Try “yes, and” for one week before “yes, but.” It comes from improv theater, and it’s been adopted in stress management because it trains the brain to build on ideas rather than block them reflexively.Â
Chasing Quick Fixes for Happiness
Retail therapy, mindless scrolling, that third glass of wine on a Wednesday night. None of these is terrible in isolation. But if they’re your primary way of managing stress, they’re only ever going to paper over the cracks.
We’ve all been there, pulling out a tub of Ben and Jerrys because we feel sorry for ourselves. But quick-hit happiness fades fast, usually leaving you feeling worse than before and reaching for the next one.
Track your mood for two weeks after your go-to quick fix: the wine, the scroll, the online shopping, or the ice cream. Most people are surprised to find they feel worse, not better, within the hour. Seeing that pattern on paper removes the illusion that the habit is actually helping.
Getting Lost in Other People’s Lives
Again, I blame social media for making us believe everything we see on Instagram. It’s the old adage, the grass is greener on the other side, but it isn’t. Obsessing over what others are doing, thinking, and how their lives are going is unhealthy and can lead to stress about your own life.
Whether it’s family, friends, or the highlight reel of strangers on social media, too much time in other people’s stories pulls you out of your own. And your story is the only one you have any influence over.
Redirect some of that attention back to yourself and invest it where it can actually do some good. Remember, you’re only seeing the side of life they want to show you on social media, which is curated within an inch of its life. Use app screen time limits, but set them to unlock only after you’ve done one thing for yourself first, a walk, a chapter of your book, or a phone call with a friend.
The Voice in Your Head That’s Never on Your Side
I don’t care who you are; everyone has an inner critic. But some of us have one that runs at full volume all day long, never letting up.
That voice that says you’re not doing enough, you should be further along, you’re not as capable as everyone else. That voice is not telling you the truth. It’s running old programming, often from decades ago, and it’s keeping your stress levels elevated around the clock.
Noticing that voice, rather than just absorbing it as fact, is the first step to quieting it. You don’t have to believe everything you think.
Give the inner critic a ridiculous name. It sounds silly, but psychologists use this technique because it creates cognitive distance between you and the voice. Once it has a name, it becomes a character, not a truth-teller, and that separation is where the power shifts.
Waiting for the Perfect Moment
There is no such thing as the perfect moment or time to do anything. Perfect conditions are a myth.
“I’ll start when things calm down. When I’ve lost the weight. When the kids are older. When I feel more ready.” Sound familiar?
The waiting habit keeps you frozen in a comfortable kind of paralysis. Taking the first small step, even when everything feels messy and imperfect, is how things actually begin. And usually? That first step was easier than all the waiting.
Treating Every Small Failure Like a Catastrophe
I’m a fine one to talk here, as I do love a bit of drama and can turn everything into a major theater production. But aside from that, remember that small failures are normal and part of life.
Every time you try something, and it doesn’t go the way you hoped, you learn something. It’s how we grow. But if the fear of failing keeps you from trying in the first place, you miss all of it.
Doctors point out that the stress caused by avoiding failure is often far worse than the stress of the failure itself. Reframing small setbacks as information rather than evidence of inadequacy is a game-changer.
Borrow from the idea of a “failure resume,” something career coaches actually recommend. Keep a running note of things that went wrong and what followed. Most people find that the aftermath was far less catastrophic than the fear predicted, and that evidence accumulates into resilience.
Putting Off What You Know Needs Doing
Procrastination and stress go hand in hand. Now I’m not a procrastinator; in fact, I’m the complete opposite, but my husband is, and I’ve seen what it does to him. He avoids the task because it feels overwhelming. Avoiding it makes it grow in his mind, and it becomes this huge insurmountable thing. That mental weight adds to your stress. Which makes you want to avoid it all the more.
Breaking that cycle usually comes down to making the task smaller. Not “deal with the finances.” But “spend ten minutes opening the statements.” Not “get fit.” But “walk around the block today.”
Small, boring, specific actions are the enemy of procrastination. They’re hard to argue with. The easiest way to deal with this is not to do it alone. Productivity researchers have found that it dramatically reduces the resistance that kicks in when you’re alone with a dreaded task.
Putting Your Own Needs Last
You cannot keep giving from an empty cup, and yet so many of us are trying to do exactly that.
Sleep sacrificed. Exercise pushed to “later.” Meals eaten standing up. Your own health, rest, and joy are deprioritized because everyone else’s needs feel more pressing.
Here’s what doctors will tell you plainly: neglecting your own well-being doesn’t make you more available to the people you love. It makes you less available and far more stressed.
Taking care of yourself is the single habit on this list that makes all the others easier to work on. Schedule self-care the same way you schedule a dentist appointment: a specific time, in the calendar, treated as non-negotiable. Research consistently shows that “I’ll get to it later” self-care never happens. The act of blocking time sends your brain a signal that it counts as a real commitment.
The content in this article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always speak with your healthcare provider about any mental health concerns or before making significant changes to your lifestyle.